If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
