So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
