This house was built for laser tag.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
