and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so let's talk penis.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
