Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
