Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she peed on how many people?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
