I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
