): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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