We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
