Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Pants are for mortals
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
