Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
