we have pet lesbian snakes
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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