Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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