this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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