As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
