You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
