Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
