That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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