My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
