Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
