the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
