Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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