i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
it glows. i had to have it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
