if i can run in heels then i can drive
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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