new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
