I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
