Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
