Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
