note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
