Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
