You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
