I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
now i know why i became what i already was.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the day after is always just damage control
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
