ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
