some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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