well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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