Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Found your dick twin last night
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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