I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
