Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
