i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
