ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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