I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
