this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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