I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Damn victory sex feels great
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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