just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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