you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
