I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
