I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
