We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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