I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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