maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
