are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
