That's when you crack a 10am beer
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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