like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so let's talk penis.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
